"X"

Update... kind of

2010-01-02T22:09:00.000-08:00

We just received notice that apparently my husband owes $3000 in child support/dance arrearage. $3000!! And it's not because he's ever stopped paying or fallen behind. It's because the whole court thing took over 5 months- with the judge taking 2 months himself to come up with a decision. So, legally- because of a stupid law- when the child support amount changes and any new charges (such as 70% of dance) is added the payee owes that full amount all the way back to when papers were filed. In our case that would be March. So he now owes arrearage for March, April, May, June, July and August. The court is ordering us to pay not only the new child support and dance fees, but an extra $300 a month for 10 months to catch up on this "arrearage." I would LOVE to know how the court expects us to pull that off. I'd also like to know how they expects us to pay the Canadian dollar amount when we are in the USA and the currency conversion changes on a daily basis. Not only that- we've been paying her child support for 2 1/2 years via Paypal.com. Now we're expected to, what? Mail a check for $1400 CAN a month? Get a Canadian money order in the Texas? It makes no sense. Even if they wanted to come after us in Texas what amount are they going to ask for? $1400 CAN could be $1320 today, $1280 tomorrow, $1385 next week...
It's all so stupid and just not fair. I can honestly say I have never, ever gone after my ex for anything like this- even when I knew he should be paying more child support. The only time child support has been changed in the almost 9 years we've been divorced is when HE got fired and didn't pay for over a year and then filed papers to have it LOWERED. And it was lowered from $1300/month to $680. He was almost $7000 in arrears from lack of payment and I agreed to drop it to $5000 which he paid off at $50 extra a month for months and months and months. I'm not money hungry. I don't like to put people in a bad position. I realize people have their own lives and I don't wanna eff with them. I wish my husband's ex was more like me. haha
We still owe our Canadian attorney $1500 and to top it all off... I was served by my ex in August. He wants to change the kids visitation to a schedule the children DO NOT WANT. They are adamantly against it and have told him that. He's also wanting to restrict us to live in one county. The kids would move back to Utah in a heartbeat. They miss it so much. He doesn't care. He doesn't care that his desired schedule would make the children have to wake up at 5:30am to drive 40 min. in order for 1 of them to get to early morning practice. He doesn't care that it would make another child miss an early morning scripture class he chooses to take. He doesn't care that it would make the kids miss the church they have attended since birth (so 14.5, 13 and 10.5 years) to attend a church they believe is not true. It has always been about him- not the kids. Hence the reason he's married to his mistress after leaving his kids when they were 6,4 and 2.
I asked the kids what they wanted me to do. They begged me to fight- they don't want any of these things he wants. So, $8500 MORE in debt later we are scheduled for court in March.
My husband works overtime when it's available. I am still babysitting and I have recently signed on as a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant which has been going well, but I need it to go better. If you are interested in helping by purchasing Mary Kay please email me at beattheex@gmail.com.

Please pass the link to this blog on and most of all, please pray for us.

Judgement is in

2009-08-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

Basically in a nutshell we just spent $7000+ for an attorney for her to get less than $300 more a month.

- Child support will increase $145 a month

- We will pay 70% of dance expenses totally about $150 a month for us

- We do owe $50 a month until "arrearage" is paid back.

- Visitation travel expenses is still 50/50.

- We have spring break, fall or Christmas break depending on year and 5 weeks in the summer. (She wanted us to only have 4.)

- We still have joint custody.

All in all... I'm relieved and pissed at the same time. I'm relieved we don't have to pay all of dance and all visitation. But I am pissed we're paying any dance. She adds more dance expenses every year without talking to us about it. And now one of the twins is talking about taking gymnastics. We are NOT paying for a girl who took 4 years to learn a cartwheel to take gymnastics when I actually have a daughter with real talent that was competing and had to quit because... WE COULDN'T AFFORD IT. That's not fair.

Whatever. I'll write more later when it's not all so new.

Thank you SOOOO much for your support.

Still waiting....

2009-06-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

We went to court and the judge wasn't ready to make a decision yet. He wants to review everything again.

Our lawyer feels that the judge WILL NOT change custody because he wouldn't even discuss it.

He also feels that the judge will keep the visitation 50/50.

Most likely child support WILL increase, which we are expecting, and most likely it WILL be retroactive putting us over $1000 behind.

Our lawyer wasn't sure what the judge was thinking/feeling about the dance expenses...

We have been very blessed this week. Someone anonymously left an envelope with my name written on it on our porch. Inside was TEN $100 bills. Yes. $1000. I have no idea who did it, but THANK YOU so much. So, so much. VERY few people in our area know what's going on, so I have no idea where that money came from.

Another friend handed my husband $500 today. He said he felt he was suppose to withdraw the money from the ATM and didn't know why. Then he gave it to my husband.

Words CANNOT express how humbled and blessed we feel. THANK YOU.

Court tomorrow

2009-06-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

Our attorney goes to court tomorrow and basically if SHE gets everything she wants, we are screwed. Here's what could happen to us:

-We will be paying about $200 more in child support a month making it $820. (This is almost $200 more than I get for THREE kids! My husband is a police officer- we aren't rollin' in the dough here!) That's gonna hurt, but that's nothing compared to the rest...

-The child support would be retroactive to January 2009 making us almost $1300 behind. This means if they file it with the State of Texas, Texas can garnish my husband's checks up to 50% at a time until he's caught up. 50%!! So basically it would be like he's only getting one check for the month instead of 2.

-We will be paying $250 every month (on top of the $820 for child support) for dance plus any other dance expenses that come up like travelling or entering them in more competitions. (She paid $100 each for them to enter a duo competition which they placed last in. So anytime she feels like doing that she'd want $200 more from us.)

-This would also be retroactive to January 2009 making us $1500 behind for dance expenses.
We will paying 100% for visitation which is easily $1200+ per trip for a total of atleast $3600 a yr. (unaccompanied minor fees are $100 EACH WAY)

- My husband will no longer have joint custody. She will have SOLE custody including ALL decision making. She basically does that now, but this would make it to where he doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to putting them in more classes- but he'll have to pay for them.

And this is what I foresee happening if she wins... We will lose our home after selling most of what's in it. We will pay out the butt all the "required" crap and not be able to afford to ever see them. The kids in OUR home will suffer just so the twins can dance is what it boils down to. And in a few years we'll get served again.

I am now seeking employment that pays more than I'm makin' now... I can work all weekdays 8 to 5 or whatever because my husband's schedule is changing to weekend nites, so he will be home. I have no skills other than being a mom, blogging, and working at Pizza Hut 18 years ago. I'm sure I'll find a GREAT job. Nice that SHE can ruin MY 3 year old's experience of having a stay at home mom so she can be one while spending all my husband's money.

We also just spent most of our vacation fund (My parents have a timeshare in Florida that they were taking us to. Free board + free beach = PERFECT for us!) and sold our son's bunk bed because they said they didn't mind just sleeping on mattresses to continue to retain our attorney. We have a couch soft bed, loveseat and ottomon for sale on craigslist as well...

PRAYERS ARE NEEDED!!!!!

She just will not back down

2009-06-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

The latest:

- She wants $100 more a month in child support. We are not contesting that. Only contesting the fact that she knew she couldn't file again in Utah until Oct. 2009. She wants it to be retroactive starting Jan. 2009, making us $600 behind. We are asking it to START in October. She's, of course, fighting this.

- She wants sole custody with sole decision making right. They've had joint custody since 2000...

- She still wants us to pay 100% for visitation although she has been ordered since 2002 in Utah to pay for 50%.

- She now wants us to pay 100% of their dance expenses ($5000+ a year) because she is "unemployed." She says they have an "elite" skill. I say "They competed in a duo dance contest and got last place." Harsh? Yes. Elite? No.

- She wants us to pay HER attorney fees, yet she's the one who brought this all to court. And for what?

- She "graciously compromised" to give us 5 weeks in the summer instead of the 4 weeks she listed. Too bad the mediation agreement already SAYS FIVE.

Please, please, please pass on the link to this blog. Thank you so much.

Wow

2009-04-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

I can't believe we've passed the $1000 mark. When I started this blog I figured I'd get a few donations here and there, and definitely only from people I know. Boy, was I wrong! I cannot believe the outpouring of love, support, encouraging words, etc... It has been so touching and made me want to look for those in need and help when we can.
There is a new family of 4 from our church. The husband lost his job and his wife was working nites at a store. They have been struggling BIG TIME just to keep their home. He finally found a job with a 1 hour roundtrip commute. He was talking to my husband about how he's "running on a fumes and a prayer" because he doesn't get paid until this Friday (which is 3 weeks since he started the job) & he has a 1/4 tank of gas to commute all week. When my husband was telling me this we both looked at each other and said "We need to help." We took him one of my husband's cds and a $20 bill. My husband explained how we've been having our own financial trials right now and spoke of y'alls generous love and support and how we were just overwhelmed and humbled by y'alls help. He apologized we couldn't give more and gave him the cd and money. The man and his wife broke down in tears. The wife said she'd been driving to and from work for 2 days with her gas lite on and just praying she'd make it. Their reaction showed me that they needed this money, prayers were answered and they were grateful.
I wish y'all could see MY reaction everytime I open my email or mailbox and there is a new donation or someone bought a cd or sent words of encouragement. I've been crying for 3 weeks straight! lol To have this reminder that although there is most definitely selfish, uncaring people in the world, the majority of our world is made up of caring, giving people who want to help, has been an enormous blessing and a lesson in humility and gratitude.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much!!

2009-04-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to give an update and say THANK YOU for the over-whelming response we have had so far. It's been 10 days and we've raised over $700. That's amazing to me. THANK YOU!!!

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We are starting a new fundraiser. If you are interested in a cd to listen to that will calm you and make you feel at peace please click on the pic in the sidebar. All proceeds from the purchase of the cds will go directly into the "X" fund. And yes... that gorgeous man is my husband. He is an extremely talented piano player. He plays completely by ear and has arranged these hymnal medleys all in his head. He self-released a cd in 2006 but it was a "rough draft." He's perfected those arrangements and "written" 3-4 more. Please go have a listen!! And PLEASE pass on the link!! Feel free to steal his pic and post a button with a link in your sidebar as well. You can link it to here: http://www.beatthex.blogspot.com/ or to http://www.seiuliplays.blogspot.com/.

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We found an attorney we can retain for $2500 USD. With the $700 we've received from y'all and an insurance refund check that is suppose to go towards dr. bills from a surgery my husband had in December... we were able to retain the attorney. But now we're stuck with $2000 in dr. bills. :( But atleast we were able to retain the attorney. And hopefully with donations and cd sells we will be able to pay off the dr. bills asap!!
My husband went to the bank to get the money order today to send our lawyer and I literally feel sick to my stomach. $2500 that should have been used to pay dr. bills and money that has been so generously donated to us is having to be spent on something so ridiculous. And we can't just ignore it or Orders will be filed against us and decisions made without our input and solely based on her stack of lies. Grrrr. It's so frustrating!!

And did I mention she's at Disneyland right now with her 6 year old?

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The good news??? My step-daughters arrive today for their spring break visit!!! YAY!!

What is this?

2009-03-31T10:12:00.000-07:00

Basically this blog is like the tin cup a street beggar holds and I'm asking for donations. My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. We have 7 kids between the 2 of us. I had 3, he had 2 and we have 2 together. They are ages 14, 12.5, 10, 10, 10, 5.5 and 3. Yes- 3 10 yr olds. His 2 were twins and they are the same age as my daughter.
In the last almost 8 years we have spent over $14,000 in legal fees. Most of them were fighting my husband's ex-wife for visitation. She was keeping the children from him and hiring a lawyer was necessary. A judge had to ORDER her and threaten her before she would let the twins come. Why? Basically she was mad my husband remarried. Over the last few years we've had a working order out of Utah that includes that she pays 50% of visitation costs because she moved out of the country making the costs OUTRAGEOUS. We were served with new papers from the court this past week where she is trying to have it changed to my husband paying ALL travel costs, more child support, cover 1/2 of all their extra curricular activities, and any other money she can get her hands on. She says she can no longer afford to help pay with visitation. I would be more understanding of her situation because we are in the same boat, if it wasn't for the facts that in the last 6 months she has traveled cross country for a Madonna concert, gone to the Bahamas for 10 days and to Ireland for 2 weeks. She is also planning a trip to Disneyland in April. Can we say "Priorities"??
There is so much MORE I could tell- like detail the lies in her affidavit, but I will not do that online. If you are interested in details you can email me at beattheex@gmail.com . I am a very open and honest person. I will not exagerrate and I will not lie.
So I am not exagerrating or lying when I tell you we have no funds to fight these papers she has filed in Canada. Just to retain a lawyer it is about $5500 CAN which equals about $4400 USD. A good lawyer charges about $300 an hour. This is a complex case so I can see it running into the 10s of thousands of dollars. So... that's where you come in. I am asking anyone who reads this blog to PLEASE donate to my "x" fund- even if it's a penny WE WILL TAKE IT.
Thank you so much in advance. And even if you don't donate can you PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE pass on a link to this blog?? The more it gets out there in the Blog World the better chance we have of collecting our lawyer's retainer fee. :)

Edited to add:
Just so you don't think my husband and I are sitting around waiting for everyone to take care of us:
My husband is a police officer. He works 12 hour shifts and picks up overtime at least 2 days a week.
I am home with our 5 and 3 year old. I also watch a 15 mth old, a 7 month old and a 5 year old in my home, Monday thru Friday from 7am until 5:30pm. On Tuesdays I watch a 20 month old in addition to the other kids. I am also currently taking an online course to become a medical transcriptionist.
We do all this just to make ends meet.