Tuesday, March 31, 2009

What is this?

Basically this blog is like the tin cup a street beggar holds and I'm asking for donations. My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. We have 7 kids between the 2 of us. I had 3, he had 2 and we have 2 together. They are ages 14, 12.5, 10, 10, 10, 5.5 and 3. Yes- 3 10 yr olds. His 2 were twins and they are the same age as my daughter.
In the last almost 8 years we have spent over $14,000 in legal fees. Most of them were fighting my husband's ex-wife for visitation. She was keeping the children from him and hiring a lawyer was necessary. A judge had to ORDER her and threaten her before she would let the twins come. Why? Basically she was mad my husband remarried. Over the last few years we've had a working order out of Utah that includes that she pays 50% of visitation costs because she moved out of the country making the costs OUTRAGEOUS. We were served with new papers from the court this past week where she is trying to have it changed to my husband paying ALL travel costs, more child support, cover 1/2 of all their extra curricular activities, and any other money she can get her hands on. She says she can no longer afford to help pay with visitation. I would be more understanding of her situation because we are in the same boat, if it wasn't for the facts that in the last 6 months she has traveled cross country for a Madonna concert, gone to the Bahamas for 10 days and to Ireland for 2 weeks. She is also planning a trip to Disneyland in April. Can we say "Priorities"??
There is so much MORE I could tell- like detail the lies in her affidavit, but I will not do that online. If you are interested in details you can email me at beattheex@gmail.com . I am a very open and honest person. I will not exagerrate and I will not lie.
So I am not exagerrating or lying when I tell you we have no funds to fight these papers she has filed in Canada. Just to retain a lawyer it is about $5500 CAN which equals about $4400 USD. A good lawyer charges about $300 an hour. This is a complex case so I can see it running into the 10s of thousands of dollars. So... that's where you come in. I am asking anyone who reads this blog to PLEASE donate to my "x" fund- even if it's a penny WE WILL TAKE IT.
Thank you so much in advance. And even if you don't donate can you PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE pass on a link to this blog?? The more it gets out there in the Blog World the better chance we have of collecting our lawyer's retainer fee. :)

Edited to add:
Just so you don't think my husband and I are sitting around waiting for everyone to take care of us:
My husband is a police officer. He works 12 hour shifts and picks up overtime at least 2 days a week.
I am home with our 5 and 3 year old. I also watch a 15 mth old, a 7 month old and a 5 year old in my home, Monday thru Friday from 7am until 5:30pm. On Tuesdays I watch a 20 month old in addition to the other kids. I am also currently taking an online course to become a medical transcriptionist.
We do all this just to make ends meet.

28 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, friend. I hope you are feeling the love of your friends EVERYWHERE.

    I have posted a link on my blog.

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  2. Hey, my awesome friend! I've got your button on my sidebar!

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  3. I sure wish I had favors to call in close to you. I'm working on the link. I'm just slow.

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  4. Hi! I'm friends with Lauren and her mom Nancy. I hope everything works out in your favor. I hope it is ok to put a button for you on my blog.

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  5. A button on your blog would be great. THANK YOU!!!

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  6. Hi Mrs.X !

    I linked from Lauren's site...and must say I am glad I did. I understand your situation COMPLETELY!!! Crazy baby mama's are in all shapes, forms, colors, worldwide...

    My brother has one of those 'crazy baby mama drama' situations..my mom has given her the name of "The Hoe(as in garden hoe, um no)from He**" (think bad place where there is fire and bad people)....it rhymes with Fell...

    I will do what I can to help..

    Take care.

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  7. Adding your button to my sidebar...now!

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  8. Claudette-
    How weird that your brother's X has the same name as my husband's... lol
    Thanks for your support! I'm hoping the ripple effect will get us on the TODAY show by next week. Kidding;)

    Lauren-
    You KNOW I think you are awesome. According to the statcounter over 150 hits just today have come from the link on your blog alone. THANK YOU.

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  9. I know my cousin had a widget that allowed you to donate anonymously through paypal. I can get details if you like.

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  10. That would be awesome!! Thank you so much. For some reason the one I have tells me the email address of who donated. I wonder if it's something the donator clicks?? I'm not sure. I would appreciate it if you could let me know! THANK YOU!!!

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  11. Hi Mrs. X, I would like to support you in any way I can. My daughter is marrying a man who has a three year old and her mother makes life miserable. I don't have a lot of money, but I would like to be able to send you some off and on throughout the year. My email is debbiehoop@hotmail.com. I would need an address to mail the money. If this doesn't feel right to you, please let me know if there is some other way to help. Debbie

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  12. Hi Mrs. X, I linked here from Yvonnes blog and any friend of hers is a friend of mine. I'd like to donate. How do I do it?

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  13. I also put your button on my sidebar.

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  14. Link going on my blog right now!

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  15. I thought it had an anonymous option, but maybe it doesn't. It's a widget called Chip-In and it tracks the money received so far and you can post a goal. It will show a ticker of how close you are to your goal. Maybe it will work.

    People don't have to have a Paypal account to donate, but the person collecting funds does. Hope this helps.

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  16. Debbie-
    Thank you so much. I am emailing you right now!

    Tonya-
    Thank you! You can donate via paypal/credit card, etc... by clicking the "Donate" button in the sidebar. Or you can email me at: beattheex@gmail.com and I can give you my address. You are awesome- thanks for posting the button!!

    RatalieNose-
    Thanks for your support! Getting the word out is the key and I appreciate it so much!

    Mrs. Organic-
    I will check into it. Thanks for your help!

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  17. I came from ~J's site. And I do what she tells me. I feel for you. I have a few friends in the same situation, and it is craptastic. It drives me nuts when people work their hardest to make things WORSE for children.

    If you need to vent, you are always welcome to post on Good Mommy--I think ~J can get the link for you, or I can! :)

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  18. Thank you so much La Yen!!
    Venting would be WONDERFUL!!!!!!

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  19. Best of luck to you and your family! I couldn't donate much, but I hope it helps! My heart goes out to you two. I see what my (step)Dad's ex-wife puts him through just to see my step-sister every other weekend! And the amount of money he pays in child support is UNREAL!

    I'm going to post your story on my blog to try and get a few more people heading over here too!

    Good luck!

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  20. Thank you so much Mandy! I have been receiving emails from people who are in or know someone in a similar situation. It's so sad and frustrating!!
    Thank you for your donation and for posting about it. I appreciate it so much!!

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  21. I'll get a button on my blogs for you.

    I've seen things like this on Craigslist before. I'd post it in your area and around the country. GOOD LUCK!

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  22. The main people hurt in this battle are the children. I can't think of a better way to encourage people not to bring such chaos into kids' lives (divorce, remarriage, more children with the new wife so the children left behind get to watch their dad raising someone else's kids full-time while all they get to do is visit...) So heartbreaking. Good luck.

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  23. Gina- Thanks so much friend. ;) Craigslist is a great idea.

    Anonymous- I totally agree. The chaos caused by this only hurts the children. The twins want to be here just as much as my husband and I want them here. But with their mom's financial demands we are afraid we will not be able to afford it. We CANNOT let that happen!

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  24. There are some ads on my new site to click on. Hopefully we can send people there and help that way, too.

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  25. A friend forwarded me your blog link to read and I have to say, I chuckled as I read it. Not because of your misfortune, but at how similar it is to our story. We too paid outrageous lawyer fees, fought visitation, and went through all the headaches and hoops while she went on vacations, had plastic surgeries, and built her dream home.

    Hang in there, I promise it does get better and time does help in these matters. Having the children get older makes a huge difference as well. Best of luck to you and your family---and remember, money is just money. It will come and it will go. Focus on the relationships, making sure they are good, especially with the children. When you are being the kind of person you need to be, the rest (including the money) falls into place.

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  26. Klin- Thanks so much!

    Anonymous- I'm sorry you know the situation all too well. It sucks! Our main focus is to make sure we don't get stuck paying 100% of the visitation because we won't be able to afford it. :( And how do you tell the kids "Sorry, you can't come. We can't afford it." :(
    Yes... my husband's ex has had plastic surgery as well- tummy tuck and boob job. While I'm here with saggy boobs and gut. :) Thanks for your support! It's good (yet sad) to know we aren't alone. :)

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  27. A little late, but your X is in my sidebar. Thinking of you and hoping great things will happen.

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